[My wife abducted my children on January 3, 1995. When she left, she took almost nothing, giving the impression that she left on the spur of the moment, goaded by extreme fear. In fact, she and her paramour had been planning the abduction for many days, as is demonstrated in this file. "JDanvers" is a pseudonym for my wife; "MaRandolph" is a pseudonym for her paramour.] Subj: What Was That You Were Saying? Date: 94-12-30 20:52:37 EST From: JDanvers To: MaRandolph [....] I'm terrified of picking up and packing up and going. I don't know if my desire to be with you is overwhelming my better sense, if I'm putting my own needs before my children's. I also don't know whether or not I'm not just continuing to blind myself of what he's capable of. [....] I asked you today if you weren't afraid of again making the same mistake that we've both made by my coming there to be with you. I'm still frightened by that. I know I'm *wiser* than I was six+ years ago - but am I wise *enough* to trust my judgement about this right now? And won't I be pulling my children further into a mistake, if it turns out to *be* one? And, yet, I hear Laurel's voice this morning talking about the loving model that we could provide for my kids. I know in my heart that we share *so* much, that we *do* have a good foundation for a life together. But I was counting on our having more time together, time to be *sure.* *I* *am* *terrified* *of* *making* *another* *mistake.* And maybe it's a moot point, if I can't legally take the kids out of the state. Subj: Saturday Date: 94-12-31 20:41:45 EST From: JDanvers To: MaRandolph [....] >>In addition, there will be relocation expenses (any estimate on what that would >>cost, based on your experiences with the Arizona move?) Well, a *rough* guess would be: $1000 - truck $30/night * 7 nights = $210 - hotel $30/day * 7 days = $210 - food Hmm. Say $2000, as a *really* conservative estimate. I actually have *no* idea how far Seattle is from here, whether I could drive through CA and stay with Laurel and/or Lisa, how long a trip it is, etc. [....] >>I *can't* replace him in their hearts. That's a loss for them that we would have >>to just accept, unless he were willing to move to Seattle to stay close to them. >>But I'd give them *everything* I could in my own heart, and -- I want to believe >>-- a different kind of parent, a different of husband, that would be just as >>irreplaceable for them. Oh, love, I have no doubt that you'd come to be very important to them. I *am* afraid that doing things this way would make it *harder* for them to connect with you; there might be some anger directed at you, though, *for* "replacing" him in their daily lives, though not their hearts. We'd have to work pretty hard at finding a way to work this through with them. [....] This *isn't* the way I wanted to come to be with you, it *isn't* the best, emotionally, for the kids - but *being* with you *isn't* a question for me. I am fortunate beyond fortune to have you in my life, and I'd be a fool to let you go.... Subj: Misc. Date: 95-01-01 21:26:29 EST From: JDanvers To: MaRandolph Hello Again, Sweetie - >>You know how you can protect yourself right now? Open an account of your own.... Way ahead of you, lover. I opened my own account when Greg had his accident, and I resisted signing anything that would make it a joint account. So we have one joint account, and my account, which I've been using for joint purposes, but which I could (and will) easily *stop* using for joint purposes. I'll doublecheck about the funds transfer, although I can't imagine you'd need any authorization to *deposit,* just to withdraw. Subj: Re: Quick response Date: 94-12-31 23:09:50 EST From: JDanvers To: MaRandolph [....] I pray that we'll be together to see in the *next* new year, that the year ahead will bring us what we want most: a life together.... Subj: Feedback on the Feedback Date: 95-01-01 12:52:54 EST From: JDanvers To: MaRandolph [....] >>I expect that a small house would save us money, and the only real question in >>my mind is how small, and how much. Oh: that raise a logistical problem: we >>can't buy a house until 31L is sold, so, yes, that does mean summer or later. But >>we could find ourself locked into a year lease, so in fact we may not be able to >>buy until next year at this time. Right. And, there's also this argument against buying right away: it takes awhile to get familiar with a new place, to know where good values are, where warm communities are, where you'd *want* to live for an extended period. A year isn't unreasonable at all to spend looking around, seeing if we *want* to stay there, and where we'd want to stay. Also to take into consideration: the possibility that I might be *forced* to return to AZ in the aftermath of a custody battle. I don't know that I would leave, if this were a strong possibility. Unless it would take enough time that our being married might make a difference to the outcome, and unless my divorce could be finalized with that piece still in the air, so that we could do that. [....] Well, I've spent *hours* on this; I haven't even showered, yet. I have to say that I would *love* to not have to be spending my time on our correspondence; it *has* taken a lot of time over the months, time that I'm going to need to be using to bring in money. Greg *does* have a point about me sitting out here writing to my boyfriend, while he's in there sitting on his sore ass for hours every day, supporting us..... Subj: Quick Response; More Later Date: 95-01-01 16:54:16 EST From: JDanvers To: MaRandolph Hi, Sweets - About tomorrow: I left a message asking for the sitter for 4:30, on. I can claim a school commitment, and reasonably get out then without having to offer more explanation. That's as much as I want to push it right now. (I haven't actually got a confirmation on that time, yet, though, so it's still up in the air.) Subj: More Feedback of My Own Date: 95-01-01 18:53:55 EST From: JDanvers To: MaRandolph Oh, *God* - I'm a nervous *wreck.* I overheard Greg talking on the phone with someone, presumably his dad (but I'm not sure). I sure didn't like what I was hearing. Whomever he was talking to must've suggested his doing something about our joint money, because G replied something to the effect of, "Well, I had that all taken care of the day before the accident, but that's all undone, now." There was a lot of "That's good advice, thanks." There was some discussion of money, with G talking about "I don't know how much this is going to cost me, so I'm taking every job that I can get." And then there was the, "I'll pay whatever I can to make sure my kids have what they need, but I'll not be compelled.... (and I couldn't make out the end, dammit)" I think his dad must've said something like, "Let me know whatever you'll need," because G replied, "I will..." The whole conversation made me *extremely* nervous. Right now, Greg has no resources, no easy way to get out, and he's not very good at getting things done. It will take him some time to mobilize what resources he has access to. I'm not going to wait for him to do that. If I get the green light, I'm getting the kids out of here. I'll figure out some way to get our stuff after that. [....] >>Think of the entire trip as 4 long (~6 hours of driving) days, or 5-6 shorter >>ones. >> >>Next question: can you handle this, or part of this, by your*self*? If you >>needed me for the whole trip, the only way to do it would be for me to cancel >>out on the cruise (and it's almost certainly too late to get a replacement) and >>do it next week. If you can handle most of it, we could plan, for example, to >>have me meet you in San Francisco on a Friday evening and we drive the rest of >>the way over the weekend. Love, I'm *sure* I could find some way to handle this by myself, even if it meant doing shorter days and taking longer. I think it is *really* important for you to have whatever time you still can with Mimi, and I'd *hate* to have you take that time away from her and give it to us. I'd like to think that I could somehow get to Seattle, and you could fly in to join us as planned. >>(Is it possible to tow the car behind a truck?) Yes, with a car carrier. That's how we got here. Subj: Full Circle Date: 95-01-01 20:52:43 EST From: JDanvers To: MaRandolph [....] Love, here I am in another jam, but *this* time you didn't *hesitate* to make a *huge* commitment to both me and my kids. Your doing so has spoken *volumes* to me about my ability to count on you, about the depth of your feelings for me and the kids, about the growth and changes that the last 6-1/2 years have brought you. And I realized tonight as well that your sureness now is healing the last of my old sadness, my hurt that you weren't able to step forward as Greg did. And I guess it brings us full circle. If you've seized the chance to make a different choice, I can do the same. If I'm free to come, I'll come, and we'll build whatever life together we can. I love you with *all* my heart, and I want nothing more than the chance to have a family with you and to grow ever-wiser with you by my side.... I think you should know that I believe that there is a *significant* chance that if I *can* legally get out and stay out, Greg will follow. There is nothing holding him here but his love of the land, and I can't *imagine* him trying to explain to the children that he loves the mountains more than he loves them. So, you may be walking into a nightmare; you *have* to consider that.... Sigh. Subj: Quick Bedtime Reply Date: 95-01-02 00:25:30 EST From: JDanvers To: MaRandolph [....] Instead of crawling straight into bed after I got the kids down, I called Colleen and asked if I could drop by for awhile. Whew. I just got back. [....] I told her what we were thinking of doing, and she said that she'd brought up the idea with her attorney of her going to Minnesota to live with her aunt; her attorney said, "Just go." That was encouraging, although I won't actually believe it until I hear it out of Maria's mouth. Oh, her kids were *basket cases.* The bastard wouldn't even get them a Christmas present, even though he informed Colleen that he had received a large amount of cash gifts from friends/relatives. It was *so* hard to see the changes in Brenden, especially - angry, acting out all over the place. I'm *so* afraid that we'll have to deal with that with Meri & Cam....